A year ago today...

A year ago today I was blessed to be apart of a miracle.  As I recount the event from a year ago today my heart bursts with joy and awe but I also remember the costly sacrifice.  A year ago today I witnessed the birth of a child not my own.  A child who's mother is strong and perseveres despite endless opposition.  I watched her go through labor silently holding in all the pain and discomfort in her physical body but knowing the pain in her heart from years of heartache and disappointment were in play too.  I watched her as she held her beautiful baby girl as if she were a doll, careful with every move as to not break her.  I held her sweet baby in the first hours and changed the first diapers with her.  We soothed her together and comforted her cries.  I couldn't help but feel as though she was already attached in my own heart.  After all the doctor's appointments, ultrasounds, planning, everything that led up to this day.  It was finally here. 

And then, I watched her be Jesus.  An incredible act of love.  It is one of the most difficult decisions a mother could make...she released her baby into the arms of a couple she had chosen to take over the role of Mom and Dad.  I will never forget that day, that feeling, that anguish.  That feeling of- this isn't fair- and it isn't supposed to be like this.  Mother's are meant to be with their daughters.  I just kept thinking of when I had our three children and the feeling of utter joy and excitement and what complete devastation I would be going through if I then had to turn around and place them in the arms of someone else.  Never the less, she was strong, clear-minded and remembered why she had made this decision.  We then walked down the hall to the adoptive parents room.  She kissed her little cheek one last time and whispered in her ear and gently placed her in her adoptive mother's arms.  This was a moment I'll never forget.  As I prayed a blessing over the couple and my friend before we left, we all began to weep because we knew that this amazing act of love was just that...LOVE.  Love that cannot be replicated, bought or sold, forced or swayed.  A love that doesn't come cheaply but at an astounding sacrificial cost.  A love that says, "I will put your good above my own - no matter what." 

Because I watched this scene unfold a year ago today I am sure that I understand love just a little more.  I am also sure I understand the heart of Jesus even more.  So when people now ask me about adoption I think about this verse:   "No one has greater love [no one has shown stronger affection] than to lay down (give up) his own life for his friends." John 15:13 

Today I not only celebrate a life but honor my friend who made the sacrifice and the adoptive parents who whole-hardheartedly cherish this precious girl!

Happy 1st Birthday AJ!  You are a beautiful miracle of God!  We love you so much!