Wildflowers - Out of the Ashes

A nature show called Wild America aired on PBS in the 80's.  It was one of our families favorite shows growing up.  Recently, we stumbled across an old episode about Wildflowers.  It was one of those moments where time stands still and you know that what someone just said, (or said over 30 years ago) God was using it to speak to you right then.  While referring to wildflowers, Marty Stouffer, the host, mentioned that, "many seeds must be subject to fire in order to sprout." 

I thought about that single statement for days.  I decided I feel similar to one of those seeds right now.  I know that the Bible warns us about trials, troubles and just down right hard things but when you feel 'subjected to fire' you don't always think about what's on the other side.  You don't think about how God doesn't waste our suffering. That part feels too hard in the midst of everything else.  

We are excited to be apart of something greater than ourselves!  We are humbled that God wants to use us in Hungary.  We are so excited to get started and settled there.  We are excited to interact with the people and love on them.  We are excited to see how are kids pick up their new language and us for that matter.  We are excited to give God all the credit for what He will do there!  Those are the things our family tries to remember in the midst of this journey.

To be honest though, during this process of support raising, we have seen the good, the bad and the ugly in ourselves.  Our weaknesses have been exposed, our faith challenged and our endurance tested.  This is hard.  We ask, "Is it worth it? Does all this really matter?"  When I ask these questions a resounding Yes comes.  It's worth it. It does matter in the unseen - the eternal.  So I find myself saying (sometimes forcing myself) as David did in Psalm 103 when he said:

"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!   

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits,"

Even if it comes through tears.  The cry of my heart is that the Lord be blessed through it all.  That's why I wouldn't trade being subjected to this 'light and momentary' fire (that we are still in) for not following God's call on our lives. The old normal is long gone and walking with Jesus into the unknown is the new normal.  There isn't anything left in and of ourselves.  Strangely this feeling of coming to the end of myself in this process is freeing.  So restful.  So I find hope in God and remembering the wildflower seed.  

 "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1

He will move this seemingly impossible mountain of finances and sprout new things in us and the people of Hungary through it all.  Though it looks as if the end has come and there is going to be nothing left...over time, out of the ashes sprout fields and fields of beautiful new flowers.  Oh, to continue to remember that something amazing will be birthed from this fire!