Today I am fully aware of the world around me. To be honest, I don't always notice the things happening around me. Last night that wasn't the case.
It all started as I waited for a pizza. I called ahead. It should have been ready but it wasn't. I actually didn't mind waiting and took full advantage of the 30 minutes I had without our kids with a smile on my face. After a minute I started to notice my surroundings. All I have to say is that God doesn't waste time with me when He gets me alone these days. As I sat there, a little bit of me started down a familiar road, the smile was gone. Judgement, the silent killer was beginning to invade. There were kids all over. Some were shouting and throwing fits because they didn't want to leave or they wanted to play another game begging for more money. There were young girls throwing their trash on the floor intentionally for the workers to clean up. Mom's and grandma's trying to persuade children nicely to leave but then resorted to yelling and forcefully pushing them out to their cars. Some were running around the parking lot wildly while the adults chatted. The whole scene flustered me and I was starting to get upset. Control your kids I was thinking. That's when God gently lead me from judgement to feeling the brokenness of the world that I live in. Broken families, hurting children starving for attention, deep wounds being formed and reinforced all over again in yet another generation. It wasn't supposed to be this way.
It all started as I waited for a pizza. I called ahead. It should have been ready but it wasn't. I actually didn't mind waiting and took full advantage of the 30 minutes I had without our kids with a smile on my face. After a minute I started to notice my surroundings. All I have to say is that God doesn't waste time with me when He gets me alone these days. As I sat there, a little bit of me started down a familiar road, the smile was gone. Judgement, the silent killer was beginning to invade. There were kids all over. Some were shouting and throwing fits because they didn't want to leave or they wanted to play another game begging for more money. There were young girls throwing their trash on the floor intentionally for the workers to clean up. Mom's and grandma's trying to persuade children nicely to leave but then resorted to yelling and forcefully pushing them out to their cars. Some were running around the parking lot wildly while the adults chatted. The whole scene flustered me and I was starting to get upset. Control your kids I was thinking. That's when God gently lead me from judgement to feeling the brokenness of the world that I live in. Broken families, hurting children starving for attention, deep wounds being formed and reinforced all over again in yet another generation. It wasn't supposed to be this way.
As I headed out of the parking lot with my pizza, thoughts were racing. I turned my head as I drove out the back lot and noticed (which I never had noticed before) a low-end 'gentlemen's club' which is far from being gentlemen like in any way. The thoughts grew more intense as I pondered all the hurt and pain that is caused by our own sin and the things that we are capable of due to our selfishness...destroying ourselves and others. I didn't drive two blocks when I again noticed a row of low income housing with sheets in windows, glass broken out of some and other signs times were hard. I was deeply moved at the conditions of people living blocks from me. Something is wrong with this picture I kept thinking. As God was breaking my heart for the things that break His, I fought back tears but finally gave in as I drove past a homeless man digging though a dumpster looking for whatever he could salvage, maybe food or something for the grocery cart that was with him. Don't get me wrong. I've seen these things before and even been in foreign countries where conditions are far worse but yesterday, yesterday was different. Yesterday was about God showing me the results of a broken human world and the massive need for Him to rescue it.
I don't have a solution or even a huge conclusion to my many thoughts so I pray Lord, let me continue to see brokenness and pain but show me how to see it rightly. Keep me soft to the people around me and let me not be afraid to step into their pain. Thank you Lord for rescuing us from ourselves!
And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” Mark 2:17
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